Why Ghana’s natural resources and achievement might be Shatta Wale, being black and pronouncing Pastor as ‘Pasta’

So on Saturday, we woke to rants by Ghanaian dance hall artiste, Shatta Wale, about disrupting Wizkid’s show in Ghana this December if Wizkid’s Nigerian fans fail to apologize to Ghana’s President.

It might be important to note that this Shatta Wale whose cigar smoke is brighter than ignited this controversy, and Nigerians took the war to him. Call this a hate post, call out post, beef post or whatever, but we don’t care down here, because there is an Igbo proverb that says ‘anaghi agwa ochi nti na agha esula’, even if Nigerians explain this proverb to Ghanaians, their brain won’t be able to decipher because obviously, it has been sacrificed for a plate of Banku and Ghana Jollof.
Ghana? Ghana is West-African country located along the Gulf of Guinea and Atlantic Ocean, they practice a Unitary Presidential Constitutional Democracy (a state governed as a single power in which the central government is ultimately supreme, and any administrative divisions (sub-national units) exercise only the powers that the central government chooses to delegate). They are also known for pronouncing Pastor as ‘Pasta’ , Uncle as ‘anku’, junction as ‘Janckshin’, ‘towel as ‘taweh’, butter  as ‘batta’, transfer as ‘transfare’, filters as ‘feetes’,  pampers as ‘pampess’, bottle as ‘battle’, church and ‘chech’ and many other crazy pronunciations time will fail us to get in here.
Ghana is a multicultural nation, with a population of approximately 27 million, spanning a variety of ethnic, linguistic and religious groups. This means this country dey drag weight with the population in Lagos and Bayelsa alone.
In Education, Ghana who her Independence 3 years before Nigeria, got her first University ‘University College of the Gold Coast’ in 1948, while Nigeria’s first University ‘University of Ibadan’ traces it’s origin back to 1932 as Yaba college, meaning these Ghanaian’s got it’s first graduates years after Nigeria. It is also important to note that Nigeria has also produced Africa biggest brains, which includes Nnamdi Azikiwe, Obafemi Awolowo, Wole Soyinka, Chinua Achebe, Phillip Emeagwali, Chimamanda Adichie and many others. Nigeria also has 5 Universities in the Top 30 Universities in Africa list,while Ghana has one. Oh they might argue that Nigerians are trooping to their country to study, but anyways let me clear you all; those who go to Private institutions here in Nigeria are taken as those who failed JAMB, and if by chance you find yourself in a Ghanaian Institution, you are taken as those who failed Private School test in Nigeria.
While Nigeria is still having a ‘bad economy’ with a Gross Domestic Product of 405.1 billion USD, Ghana with all its electricity still has a GDP of 42.69 billion USD, which means when the Governor of Rivers State talks, Ghana’s President should bend a knee, because Ned Stark didn’t lose his head for them to be disrespectful. The major economic natural resources in Ghana are gold, manganese, bauxite, industrial diamonds, timber, rubber, hydropower, petroleum, silver, salt and limestone, and Nigeria has all these and even the recently mined Nickel, said to be one of the purest in the world. Gold and bauxite alone account for 64.4 per cent of Ghana primary exports; meaning to a large extent, Shatta Wale might might be the remaining 36 per cent, and this is really affecting their GDP. Oh I forgot to add, they also export ‘blackness’, probably why their Football National Team are called the ‘Black stars of Ghana’, so black that they clouded their World Cup chances with darkness. Oh by the way, their GDP is not enough to buy the rich men in Nigeria; Dangote, Mike Adenuga, Otedola, Emeke Offor, E-Money a get together cake or even a birthday cake.
Ghana’s media industry is a joke. Nobody took them seriously over Yvonne Nelson’s pregnancy report until she shared her baby bump photos, probably that was why their President, Nana Akufo-Addo, hired a Nigerian media firm ‘Red Media’ to manage his electoral campaign, which eventually got him elected and disposed the incumbent President.
Is it food? Ghanaian Jollof that looks like what Jesus saw and said ‘It is finished’, please the thought of it alone while writing this makes me want to throw up. No wonder they all eat it and end up competing with Kiwi black polish for ‘black citizens of the year’ award.
Now one artiste in Ghana, who is not even worthy to untie Speed Darlington’s shoe lace is arguing that our own dear Wizkid who has featured Drake, Future, Wale and even signed Ghanaian top stars to his label is not a superstar, as in ordinary Shatta Wale whose future is shattered. Probably this prodigal son who doesn’t have any international recognition, was one of those sent packing from Nigeria with ‘Ghana must go’ bags. And to think that most Ghanaians are supporting him and trying to compare Ghana with Nigeria, is enough to declare dry fasting for 30 days against the spirit of smoking thyme in place of weed and idiocy. Apart from Kwame Nkrumah, Kofi Annan and now Michael Dapaah whose only hit is ‘Da Ting Goes Skrrraa’, Ghana won’t be on the map of Africa because they’ve got literally next to nothing. I know say this life na pot of beans, but when lizard wan form say im be snake, children go carry am play for playground. If this life dey go well, Shatta Wale suppose illegally enter Nigeria go learn trade for Upper Iweka because, Iceprince’s Oleku and Yemi Alade’s ‘Johnny’ is bigger than all Ghanaian songs, both past, present and future release. Baba finally, na the respect you get for yourself, nai we get for you!!

Your sincerely.
Emelogu Favour C.

Emelogu Favour C. is a young writer, blogger and biochemist who brings sense to the senseless. You may wish to reach him via ebubefavour8@gmail.com

No comments

Add your comment here